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Wow, somebody remind me to never leave the Internet for two months EVER AGAIN.

I was going to publish a new post today. It was going to be enlightening. It was going to be witty. It was going to be relatable. It was going to be PROFOUND. 

Nah psych! It was going to be weird, you already know. I’m sorry for getting your hopes up.

But alas, it never made it to fruition. The thinking struggle is so real right now.

Because I’m out of my writing habit. The flow is not flowing, guys. I need to catch my wave again. It’s coming, I can at least see it. So that’s…something.

BUT NOT “SOMETHING” ENOUGH. NOT THE KIND OF SOMETHING THAT IS A BLOG POST. And you deserve more something. More something that is a blog post. So instead of giving up and rage-eating salad out of a bag like it’s popcorn…except with more butter (naturally), I will at least give you this.

My other idea has been transferred to my notebook. There’s something about hand-writing something over typing it. The ideas just write themselves. My mind wanders more freely. Maybe because writing by hand allows me to write in the same way that my mind organizes thought…in that it doesn’t have much organization at all.

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Welcome to my process…

I copied the beginnings of my drafted post into my book and almost immediately got struck with the rest of my lost ideas. But it’s raw thought. It needs some refinement. But it’s weird. My thoughts don’t survive well being birthed into rigid lines of black and white, letters appearing at the push of a button…all looking so uniform. No, I need five pens of different colors and I need to write in circles, and backwards in some sections, with thought bubbles, and the occasional doodle thrown in. I need to listen to music and watch my pen glide through every sharp edge, smooth swirl, crossed T and dotted I to the rhythm of my tunes. I need to note how my hand pushes heavier on the page when I’m listening to certain genres as opposed to others. I need to write my ‘y’ differently with every word. Sometimes it needs to be two straight lines. Sometimes it needs to be that loopy ‘y.’ Sometimes it needs some extra curvature at the end. I CANNOT EFFECTIVELY GET MY POINTS ACROSS WITHOUT MY Ys BEING DIFFERENT, DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND MY AGONY.

Wow…uhm. Yeah, I don’t know. I decided to not edit this post.

So long tirade short, I couldn’t get my head in the game. So give me a moment with my long estranged paper and pen. I thought I could type up some greatness, but I’m not that cool. I’ll have some MIND BLOWING BLOG CONTENT for you next week. Until then.

I Did It. Happy Spring.

Yeah, it’s been a while. I’m so sorry. Did you miss me? Probably not, but I’m back anyways!

I missed you. I missed writing. My head feels like it’s going to explode. But it’s okay. Because you know what, guys?

I’m a winner. I won. Me. Winning.

Why?

Becauuuuuse, guess who made it out of the winter without scales???

YOU GUESSED IT, THIS ONE! THIS ONE RIGHT HERE!!!

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This one.

I did it, friends! I accomplished my season’s goal of NOT mutating into a horrible, human/reptilian-hybrid creature. Because last year, mannn, LAST YEAR

Spring 2014 came around and my legs were so dry, you could light a match on my shin. I was looking like I just walked off an Animorphs book cover.

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#Throwback

It was bad, is what I’m saying. So bad that this year I set a goal to be less lazy. To try a little. To moisturize. To care. Just a smidge more. I really didn’t think I had it in me, honestly. I was fully prepared to just wear jeans everyday throughout the Spring and Summer just to go through the whole cycle yet again next year. It just wasn’t gonna happen. Lotion is too cold, limbs are too long, alarm clocks are too snooze-able.

But all of those doubts can shove it, okay?

I AM VICTORIOUS

And I’m also really soft, it’s pretty flipping rad. Like, you should feel me! Wait, does that sound wrong? It does.. It definitely does. Disregard that, I’m sorry. I just wanted to share my excitement with everyone, but I can’t. Shouldn’t. Won’t. No.

Seriously, don’t feel me. Keep your feels to yourself. Thank you.

But you can give me a high-five, because I so deserve one. You know I do. I’ll be expecting that next time I see you.

Before I go, I should acknowledge my support. I would like to thank: Lotion. The idea of putting my lotion on top of the heater. Water, which I decided to drink more of. Showers at night, where I don’t have to rush out of my house and be…of society. And my job, for understanding that I’m not functional before noon and scheduling me for evening shifts only. I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Here’s to next winter!