The Screaming Man on the Park Bench

I get weird when I’m tired.

Like really weird.

Just outright bizarre.

And I’ve been tired a lot lately.

You’re always thinking something, right? But you might not always be actively thinking a thought, y’know? Sometimes your mind drifts into this fluid space between your conscious and subconscious, and random, often nonsensical thoughts hit you out of nowhere.

I fall into that fluid space easily and often when I haven’t had much sleep. And as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been tired a lot lately.

See, most of the time, when you’ve been properly…sleepdrated (like hydrated but for sleep? There has to be a word for this that I can’t think of…but sleepdrated will do for now.), one of these weird thoughts fly at you like,

Hey you know what would be fun? Jumping into oncoming traffic!

and you can immediately distinguish that this is not a wise decision, it would not in fact be fun. You realize that it wasn’t your regular thoughts, your mind has drifted into the abyss, and you revert your focus and stay on the sidewalk.

There are those few times, though, when you are not fully equipped with the energy and sense to shut down these weird ideas. And when you let them linger in your head too long, they become their own thing and become harder and harder to stop. And thus we have the screaming man on the park bench.

My boyfriend picked me up from work one night after I pulled a 13 hour shift between two locations of my job. It was a pretty silent ride, as I was exhausted and he was focused on not letting us die at the hands of a New Jersey driver. We passed a park, and I broke into an uncontrollable giggle fit. I could not get it together. After maybe ten minutes, my laughing and tears subsided just enough to explain myself. Unfortunately for Dave, my sleep deprivation did not allow me the sense to share that it was a fleeting thought from my subconscious mind…

“There is a man sitting on a park bench, and he won’t stop screaming.”

“What? Where?”

“There’s a man. He just walked up one day, sat down at a bench, and screamed. He’s still screaming. He won’t stop.”

“At that park? What man? I didn’t see anyone screaming.”

“Why is he screaming? Does anybody know!? That man…”

“Uhm…okay I think it’s time we get you home.”

A few days go by after that. Dave and I are eating breakfast.

“He’s going to become a tourist attraction. He’s going to be on the news.”

“Who?”

“The screaming man on the park bench. He easily became a nuisance after like the first day.”

“Stormy, WHAT SCREAMING MAN??? Did you see this guy?”

“But why is he screaming, though? Is he sad? Is he angry? Is this personal or is this a protest?”

“I can’t with you.”

“Whole think-pieces are probably going to be written about him,” I yell as Dave walks out of the room, “like who he is, where he came from, if he has family! What does his family think?”

Another week, another night vedging out with Dave after a long day at work.

“Have you ever seen the music video for ‘Days Go By’ by Dirty Vegas?”

“Nope, never heard of it.”

“You need to see it.”

“…Okay? That’s not really the kind of music I go for.”

“No, the video!”

“What about it?”

“Maybe he lost somebody.”

“Who?”

“The screaming man…on the park bench.”

OH MY GOD.” 

Weeks later, Dave and I are venting about work drama.

“They can’t keep working me to death like this. One more week without a day off and I’m gonna…I’m gonna go to the park.”

“You’re gonna what?”

“I’m gonna go to the park, sit on a bench, and scream.”

My mouth dropped. “Oh my gosh. YOU’RE the screaming man on the park bench??? Am I clairvoyant!?”

“No…and no, but I think I can relate to him.”

“I think I can relate to him too sometimes. Maybe we all can.”

Maybe we all can.”

I get really weird when I’m tired. So weird, it’s contagious.

Huh…I wonder if the screaming is contagious…

He could garner a following! Maybe there will be screaming women on park benches! Woah…that screaming man..

 

Hiatus, BRB

And yet again, I have neglected to post on a weekly basis. Goodness why am I so impossible? I’m sorry. But look, check this out. A new year is right around the corner, and I’m ready to actually take this site seriously. Yeah, for real!
I think a big cause of my lack of motivation is that I’ve set up this space as a little uncharted island kind of. I rant, I talk about whatever is on my mind, but that’s it. Outside of being a little funny or relatable, I’m not actually connecting with anyone or anything.

I have a tendency to drift into my own world, and it seems that trait of mine bleeds into my work as well. So, realizing that, I’m turning it around. I’m plugging in to my world, and connecting with people and places and things. I’m nouning, I guess is what I just described. I want to create something that people can get something out of, not just me shouting into cyberspace. I mean, I’ll still do that, but I can afford to write with purpose too. People keep telling me I’m cool, but even if that’s true, I’m sick of me being the only thing on here. There are people doing way cooler things, and there’s super interesting stuff happening around my city, and there are great businesses that I frequent, all of which I want you to know about. I want to support them more. I want to collaborate. I want to contribute to the scene around me.

My island needs a monorail line installed to connect to the rest of civilization. So here’s the plan..
Starting next year, I’m going to add a new tab to my blog, titled {Haven’t Decided Yet}, and under that umbrella will be The Inspiration, The Scene, and The Biz. Oh and The Coffeeshops section is going to be updated way more often than I have been doing.

The Inspiration will be a feature of a Philly(usually) artist/musician/mover and shaker who has my attention. There is so much talent in this place, and seeing these individuals pursue their passions always pulls me out of whatever creative rut I’ve fallen into. I hit those pretty often, and I’m realizing that I need to shift my focus onto the things and that get me back on my grind and keep me there. I’m really excited for this section of the site.

The Scene will be posts about the events I go to around Philadelphia. I don’t understand how anyone gets bored here. There is always at least two things going on at any time of the week, and a lot of them are free or super cheap to do. I stay out of the house, attending as many of these things as I can stand. Usually foodie or music-y in nature, but I switch it up sometimes.

The Biz will be my experiences with different local small businesses, whether it be a salon, or a fashion boutique, or a restaurant. Whatever, I’m writing about it if I like it. Because I try shopping local as much as I can help, and I’d like to shout out great places in town that I like and want to see stick around for a long time.

And I’m going to be more active on the medias. It might kill me a little but I’m going to do it, dammit. You will see me doing things on Twitter. Instagram. I recently joined Tumblr. And I will make a TheSpazmatazz Facebook page. Talk to me sometime. I will respond because I’m totally a social person and I am very forward in the technologies and social meeds and whatnot. Psh. Do I sound like someone going to school for a degree in Emergent Media? I’m working on it, I promise.

I also got my tripod, and will be making videos on Youtube of my rants sometimes too. I’m gonna be all over the place, you guys! Are you ready???
I’m not. But I am looking forward to this, and I want to do it right. So bear(or is it bare? I like bear and I don’t feel like looking it up.) with me as TheSpazmatazz goes dark for the month of December. I’m going to spend this time to bulk up on content to launch in the new year, and set up all of my platforms. If you need me, email me! You’ll find my email under the About page.

Alright, I’ll see you all in 2016! In the meantime, read my older posts and share them with someone who needs to know there are people weirder than them in the world. Byeeeee!