$#*!@%&?#!

You know what’s the worst?

When denial stops working.

I have reached that point, and I must confess, to you and to myself.

I curse rather excessively.

A lot of you might know this already. And a lot of you might not. I challenge myself to keep such language out of my writing as much as possible. I consider the unnecessary use of curse words to be due in large part to a lack of a wider vocabulary with which to express one’s thoughts. It’s lazy and reminds me of how much I need to read more. Specifically books, and not my Twitter feed.

But let’s face it, cursing is also due in part to just being a fun thing to do. I greatly enjoy the perfect delivery of a good ol’ expletive in conversation. Sometimes it can be THE joke, and be the funniest one you’ve heard all day. Just play Cards Against Humanity, and see how the answer “Bitches” seems to never get old. A little sprinkling of some colorful language is a good time. You know, that’s exactly what they are!

Curse words are just like sprinkles.

sprinkles

Just like these.

I remember walking with my friend to the Dunkin’ Donuts that had just opened up down the road one day in high school. I wasn’t really in the mood for a donut, so I asked if I could just have some sprinkles. I received confused looks, but they did actually give me a bag full of sprinkles. Didn’t even charge me. And my friend and I walked home, as I ate sprinkles out of a bag with a spoon, feeling accomplished. But there’s this thing with sprinkles…

Sprinkles are great. You can dump them on all kinds of things. Anything! Cake, ice cream, cookies, brownies, people…apparently.

sprinkles on face sprinkles on nails

The possibilities are ENDLESS!

They’re colorful and bright. They add some texture. You can use sprinkles sparingly or completely envelope a pastry. They’re a cheap, simple way to jazz up anything you’re baking.

But have you ever eaten too many sprinkles? That bag of sprinkles I got from Dunkin? I never finished that. I don’t know if I even got halfway through the giant lob of sugar in my hand. It doesn’t take long for sprinkles to stop tasting sweet, and start getting weird and chalky in your mouth. Why do they DO that??? The why is not important. Anyways, you over-did it and your fun is over. Sprinkles just aren’t good in excess.

Just like curse words.

All of that to say, I’m getting that chalky taste in my mouth and it’s about time I wash it out and start speaking like I go to college. But then again I am what you would consider a drop out right now…

No. Enough of this. I need to learn some new words. Read some books. Find classier insults. Like this one..

quisquilian

Ah yeah, that is way more fun. Cursing is too basic. I’M ON SOME NEXT LEVEL— ish..

Okay it’ll be a process, granted. Give me some time.

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The End of Eloquence

You know what occurred to me recently?

There is a generation of people now, who aren’t older than the acronym “LOL.”

Think about that.

Children today have never known a world without LOL. Does that not horrify you?

Well at least not older than the rise of LOL. Because it’s apparently 25 years old this year. But I can’t think of it truly being a thing without such agents as AOL instant messenger and other such applications. And AIM came out in 1997. So let’s say LOL didn’t start permeating our culture until around then.

But dang, guys. You remember pre ’97 English? Back when in school the subject was known as language arts? Words were more powerful, and music held more weight to stir your mind. There’s a band called LMFAO now. They were short lived, and thank God. But it must be recognized that they were a thing that happened.

I feel like we should start time over again, with the history of the world before 1997 being BL (before LOL). And we can start chronicling the decline of the English language since that point in PL (post LOL). Because LOL was pretty much the beginning of the end.

I mean, the English language has never been the most respectable or glamorous language,

but watching its further deterioration just saddens me. I love words. I love the power of eloquence. It’s amazing what you can do when you know how to speak or write, but it’s becoming less appreciated so it seems. And that’s part of my drive to learn other languages. I mean, when you learn that language affects how you think (I was going to link a scholarly article, but cracked.com gets the job done just fine), and we’re using omg, brb, and lawl in ours at this point in time, just what hope do future generations even have at being intelligent? Lawl though. It’s not even an acronym anymore. It’s just a phoneticized version of lol as if the use of lol needed to be extended! Just speaking English is no longer a satisfying knowledge base for an avid lover of words such as myself. Plus, Japanese has words like this:

Yuugen

As if all these acronyms weren’t bad enough, now emojis are a thing. And they’re everywhere. I’m really slow to catch on to trends, and I’ve never had an iphone, so emojis have been lost on me for…however long they’ve been around. I didn’t even know my phone had the capability to produce them, but it does. Not like I’ll be using them any time soon.

But I’ve only really noticed them in the past year or two now that they’re all over social media, and I just don’t get it. I don’t understand the appeal, and I refuse to use them. Is this what old is? Because I feel like a fogey still using : ) and : P, and those I was resistant to use for the longest too.

I don’t hate the use of emojis completely. I mean use them if you like. I only truly get irked when I see people trying to make whole “sentences” with emojis alone.

No.

Stop it.

You’re a grown adult, what are you doing.

If it’s not hieroglyphics or Chinese, you aren’t making a sentence with pictures. I’m sorry but sit down.

My friend was telling me about this text conversation she was having with some guy, and she asked him a question, a question that demanded a direct yes or no answer, and she got some laughing emoji in response.

Um…what the expletive? Was that supposed to mean something? I don’t get it. I just don’t understand this world.

No, no, no. I don’t think so. Anybody that answers me back with a measly emoji doesn’t get saved into my contacts. Words, fool. Words. 

Emojis are a threat to language, along with text language. You can think I’m overreacting all you want, but I can’t help but see Idiocracy slowly becoming a reality. Actually, not even that slowly.

The not so distant future of emojis

The children of the LOL era are driving age now. Let’s all be grateful that STOP isn’t a very long word. I wonder what the emoji children will be like in another 15 years or so.

I will continue to love words, and try to encourage others to do so too. How I long for a world where I’m not laughed at for replying to how are yous with, “I’m doing quite well.” -sigh-

A random note, but one of my favorite blogs is called Otherwordly. If you like words, and like learning about how other cultures think and speak, you should check it out. There are some amazing concepts out there that we don’t have words for. It’s where that graphic for the Japanese word yuugen came from. So anyways, that’s my rant. Welcome to Costco, I love you(That’s future speak for bye).