Cupshe, A Public Service Announcerant

I don’t generally consider myself any more intelligent or knowledgeable than the average person I pass on the street. So it always throws me off when I discover that something I know isn’t common knowledge. But it seems I am discovering more and more that I was a friendless nerd growing up, and I sought the company of random and seldom useful data on the Internet more than that of my peers.

In any matter, I always feel morally…maybe civically obligated to share these things. So on that note, my cousin texted me.

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My family is going on a trip next month, and she sent me this picture of the outfit she was getting. It’s cute, and she said our other cousin ordered one too, and it might be fun if we all matched. She sent me a link to the site. She didn’t give me a direct link to the outfit for sale, only the home page. So I had to wander through the whole site to find this piece. And the more pages I clicked, the more I scrolled through, the more confidence I lost in this clothing company.

“Have you bought things from this site before,” I asked my cousin.

“No, but it seems pretty legit. I found it on Pinterest!”

Pretty…legit…

…Pinterest..

Legit…  

No.

So much…no.

Where do I begin? Well first off, I became initially skeptical because, as I started clicking on items, all of the pictures on the description page were blurry. How can you sell something as visual as fashion, and not feature clear imaging of what you’re selling? Every item for sale.cupshe-1Then… well, let me just show you a few photos.
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We have what looks like a professional fashion shoot photo, a kind of sexual photo of some oompa loompa tanned blonde chick, and a… a sweater. Just a sweater, chilling by itself.

Uhm, question.

How the feezy do these three pictures come from the same source? I’m supposed to believe that this is a reputable business? A business who posts bathroom selfies of garments for sale and believes that’s viable marketing? Surely we have not gotten that bad as a society yet. I mean, I know we’re close, but we can’t be there yet.

This was the point in time that I texted my cousin back and asked if she had purchased clothes from this site before. And she said no, but the photo of the outfit she bought was on Pinterest.

Because if it’s on the Internet, it must be legit, right?

Pinterest is a great website. You make a profile, and you can create pinboards to post your interests and catagorize them. It’s aesthetically nice, as you just endlessly scroll through nice pictures from other users that you follow, and repin what you like. You can add the Pinterest widget to your browser so if you like a picture from anywhere on the Net, you can immediately pin it to one of your boards on the platform. And the cool thing is, each pinned picture is actually a saved hyperlink to the webpage it originated from. That’s why it’s so great for the crafty among us. Recipes, needlework patterns, shopping, fitness routines, beauty how-tos, whatever! You can go back to them whenever you want by just clicking your pin later on.

What?

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How could you tell I’ve been a member of Pinterest since it began, back when you needed to be invited and only considered to join after a social media background check?

So why is “I got it from Pinterest,” then, not a legitimate excuse to purchase anything online?

Because Pinterest, while it likes to act as though it is more sophisticated and classy than other websites, gets its content from us. Just like every other social media platform. 

And we, as the mass populace, don’t do things right, and have the collective intelligence level: stupid

That will always be the downfall of social media. The users generate the content, and people are generally morons. Pinterest worked hard for years to screen their members and educate its users of plagiarism, copyright, and sourcing, and of course people still pinned images from Google, or didn’t cite sources of content, or didn’t question the validity of the sites they visited for these pins. And over time, when it comes to buying things and using Pinterest to find what you want, the site has effectively become the Wikipedia of eCommerce. Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean it’s true.

Now then, so far we have a sketchy source, an even sketchier display of product, and I’m still ranting, so what else is wrong? Well with all of those red flags, I decided to research reviews of the website.

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But let me stop being mean. There are some positive reviews…

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…in broken English.

It is with the legitimacy and trustings. I am the convinced.

I digress. Anyways, it took me a whole two minutes to find all of this information. It’s so easy to look things up online that it pains me to discover that people just don’t. Or don’t even think to, or find something off about these Chinese discount fashion websites. I feel like getting sucked into these things is today’s equivalent of getting conned by Nigerian princes emailing you for help. You should know better.

I mean, you can go ahead and take your chances. I’ve purchased plenty of things from Chinese sellers that seemed too good to be true. But I at least knew I was taking a risk, and that the best case scenario is generally that I get something of okay to low quality, maybe on time. Anyone buying things with the highest expectations, because they saw it on Pinterest, kinda deserves the L.

UPDATE: Luckily, my cousins did in fact receive their packages in time for our trip to Cuba. I’d consider them some of the few success stories, so huzzah. I instead, opted to have my aunt make me a similar cover up so I could kinda still join my cousins in the whole matching thing. It came out amazing.

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Handmade wrap skirt, courtesy of @2ChicDesigns!

TL;DR: Word to the wise, check the legitimacy of online shopping sites before you throw your money at them. And no, don’t take your inquiry to Pinterest. Hopefully happy online shopping to you all.

 

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Lazy is the New Black

Does anybody remember old Barbie ads that had that annoying jingle singing, “It’s a great time to be a girl?”

What was that supposed to mean? That your freedom to buy an outrageously anatomically-incorrect plastic person with features that represent only 2 percent of the world’s population suddenly made life worth living? Oh, …okay.

I forgot my point. And we’ve only just begun. Gyahhh

GOT IT.

Okay so anyways, Barbie lied. NOW is the great time to be a girl! Wanna know why? Because fashion is phoning it in and we can all rejoice in not having to try so hard anymore. But at the same time I don’t like the dropped standards. It’s kind of ridiculous. Am I the only one who sees the obvious origins of these fads? They all look like fashion faux pas that somebody told the world were in so they wouldn’t have to put in effort. Please don’t tell me you actually consider any of these groundbreaking innovation.

Ombre Hair

I remember growing up, not knowing much about hair dye…or white people, and looking at blonde women with dark hair at their roots and thinking, “Wow that’s so cool how your hair changes color right there!” And they would always respond in irritation and/or embarrassment. I never understood until much later, and even after that I still thought roots showing looked pretty neat. When this ombre thing started trending, I thought huh, that looks like someone just decided to stop getting touch ups and grow out their roots… And they called it fashion, and now it’s a thing.

Ankle-length Pants

This one actually offends me. As a kid, there was a long period where I would grow out of pants about every two weeks. I remember one day I told my dad my jeans didn’t fit anymore…again, and he exploded, vowing to only buy me capris until I stopped growing. The high-water struggle is a dark time in every tall child’s life, and no part of it is fun. You’re already awkward and lanky and have too much limb than you know what to do with, and then on top of that your clothes don’t fit? You’re a freak. And your grade school classmates never fail to remind you. But now you’re older and past all of that just to have your childhood traumas thrown back in your face thanks to fashion telling everyone that ankle-length pants are STYLISH? Listen, I don’t care who says it, THEY ARE NOT AND THEY WILL NEVER BE. THOSE ARE HIGH-WATERS, AND THEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A BEACH HOBO. Go find some pants that fit, or face the scrutiny of your peers like we all had to do.

Backpacks

Now this trend I stand behind. Because I shouldn’t be trusted to bring anything back home if it isn’t attached to me. Do you know how many handbags I’ve lost over the years? If I put it down, there is a pathetically high chance it is not getting picked back up. And you have to actively carry handbags and purses. Like you’re always aware of them as you walk around. You can’t forget they’re there because they’ll start to slip off of your shoulder or get uncomfortable and you have to switch them to your other side. Just awful, and God forbid you need that arm for something! So busy holding your purse you can’t judo flip anyone at a moment’s notice. You clutch a purse and you’re taking a risk, man. And fashion agrees, and made backpacks fancyyyyy. Made them cute. Gave them a bunch of compartments! I love compartments.

Clumpy Mascara

What the feezy is this?

Why? I don’t think that looks okay. And I am queen of the IDGAFF look. The first F is for flying fyi, because I’m fly AYE EFF!!! Kidding. But just, no. Apply your mascara correctly, is it really that hard? I don’t even know what I’m doing and I manage fine.

 

I always say I’d rather be good at looking bad than being bad at looking good, but this is just overkill. And I’m not cut out to be cool, so I don’t like this impending pressure should fashion continue in this direction. So please, go back to trying. It’s a better look for you.