Loose Ends

I’ve been frustrating myself all year so far, trying to push through exhaustion and work drama to start creating again. It hasn’t been going well.

I finally put some time aside to write a new post yesterday, and ended up staring at my wall for two hours.

And then I was hungry.

And then I needed to pee.

And then I was cold.

And then I gave up writing, bundled up in my blanket, and took a nap.

This blanket, I made for myself three years ago as an anchor piece for my then goal of moving out of my uncle’s house and getting my first place on my own.

I was an avid user of Pinterest at the time, and envisioned the snazziest interior decorating in my dream space, and everything would be yellow and gray, clean and contemporary.

I crocheted this blanket over the course of a couple months and through a rewatch of three seasons of 30 Rock. It’s roughly six feet tall and wide, and it reminded me to save up every day I saw it draped across my bed.

I finally got my apartment, moved out, and it has been the staple piece of the house for the past two and a half years. But I realized something yesterday.

I never finished that blanket.

There’s always that one part of your passion that you hate to do. Art isn’t all fun and sunshine, it is actual work sometimes. And when it comes to knitting and crocheting, I absolutely detest sewing in ends when I’ve completed a project.

It’s arguably the most important part. The piece isn’t finished until you’ve sewn in the ends. It’s so crucial, it’s a common figure of speech.

Tieing in/up the loose ends.”

Where else where that have come from if not the fiber arts? I hate it though. I’m far from the only one, but I sure feel like the only one so hellbent in just leaving piles of old projects around that would otherwise be complete and ready to sell, should I just sew in the ends.

I’ve been using this blanket for the past three years with strands of yarn sticking out of every corner where the colors change, just ignoring the fact that my work is incomplete. Just acting like nothing is wrong with it. Glossing over my longstanding lack of follow-through.

You know how the question stands, does life imitate art, or does art imitate life? I’ve always found consistencies between my creative processes and my life happenings.  I feel like through this blanket, I have hexed my own life.


Why can’t I get a coherent thought on paper? Why do I have more drafts than published articles on this site? Why does it take me longer than two hours to put together one post? It shouldn’t take a whole day, a whole week, a whole month for one post! Why am I so scatterbrained?

This blanket was my anchor. It was my motivation to step into the next chapter. But I didn’t even finish it. Because I was too lazy. Because I didn’t feel like doing it.  But it was my first step. I brought the bad energy of sloth into my house and life with that shoddy first step.

Nothing gets finished.

I’m too tired to care.

All my plants are dead.

And I just keep wrapping up in this frayed blanket, wondering why. Wondering when it will get better.

Life imitates art. At least it seems to in this case. And I need to tie up some loose ends. A lot of loose ends. A lot of stupid pieces of thread all over the place, driving me insane and disturbing my qi.

I’m getting my qi back, one thread at a time. I’m 10 down so far, and when I’m done I’ll post a picture of the finally-finished blanket. And then we’ll see if I warded off the lazieness out of my house so I can write more frequently, not kill my new plants, and get my other creative endeavors rocking. I’m knocking out three strands of yarn per day, and I should be done in a couple weeks.



MelRo’s Foundation

As much as I love drinking and making coffee, by far the best part of my job as a barista is the people I meet every morning.

And among all the great interactions I’ve had, I would say the most notable person I’ve met is MelRo.

Miss MelissaRoshan Potter started coming to the cafe where I used to work whenever she was in town for business or visiting friends. Aside from being absolutely gorgeous, she was always light and cheery, and never without something positive to contribute to any conversation. Maybe it was because I always remembered to make her iced chai lattes with almond milk, maybe she noticed a similar light within me, but we clicked immediately and exchanged information to become friends outside of the server-custie narrative.

As we got to know each other, she always encouraged me to do great in what I was pursuing and never to let anyone look down on me for the journey that led me there. It wasn’t until we connected on Instagram and Facebook that I saw how her story was a testament to every word of encouragement that she gave me.

I will let you read about her life on her website and social media profiles, but a brief summary, MelRo grew up in twenty-three different foster homes, suffered abuse, and was a teen mom at risk of homelessness. She was discovered for modeling, giving her the power to take control of her life and a platform to reach out to kids in similar situations.

She has dedicated her life to advocating for fostered youth, from speaking at schools and organizations across the country to now, building a school in Ghana for homeless children.

After a trip to Ghana, she returned feeling compelled to make a real change in the lives of the children she met there, seeing herself in them. She’s spent this year launching MelRo’s Foundation, a Ghanaian based Non-Governmental Organization (NGO), purchasing land to build a school and housing for over 100 orphaned youth, and building the facility with an aggressive goal of an August 2018 completion, because the need for shelter is so great. Classes will begin September 7th, and the upcoming students are already excited and preparing for the opening ceremonies.






I have not seen this woman sit down since the launching of this project. Every time I check in with her, she’s in a different town, either speaking to kids or training future foster parents, or she’s working in cosmetics as a freelance makeup artist, or she’s running shoe and clothing drives for the approaching school year. She is picking up work as necessary to see this dream into fruition on her own if she has to. I am ever inspired by her tenacity. And on top of donating myself, I wanted to spread the word with this post. MelRo has a gofundme fundraiser for the Foundation, and the goal to raise $11,100 is close to being reached. 100% of the proceeds go directly to the building and development of the school. MelRo has been diligent in posting constant status updates on the gofundme page, as well as her Instagram and Facebook profiles. Please contribute to the cause if you feel led to. Of course give what you can, but as a meaningful statement of support, MelRo asks for just $23, one dollar for each foster home she lived in growing up.

If you can’t help monetarily, the Foundation is in need of supplies for the students and workers. Below is the last update she shared regarding the needs for the project.

Even sharing this post or any of her statuses on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook, is a huge help. I look forward to seeing MelRo change the lives of these children in Ghana. I hope to travel with her on one of her trips in the next year to see the school, meet the students, and help out. Thanks for reading and helping contribute to the project!

Here’s the Gofundme page one more time: MelRo’s Foundation