Motive is Everything

I can be a jerk sometimes. I don’t mean to be, it spawns from being paid to be nice to people, many of whom don’t deserve kindness. Customer service is taxing, is what I’m saying.

But as terrible and selfish a person I sometimes believe I am, it seems others don’t have the same view of me. It’s kinda like how people think I’m good with kids even though they creep me out and I’m mean to them…but they enjoy the abuse and love me against my wishes.

Children will always be a strange, gooey mystery to me, but I do think I’ve figured out why the disparity between my view of myself and others’ view exists.

Being a jerk is hard. You’re probably lonely or generally unliked by most, it takes a lot of anger, and a general dislike of happy things. Maybe the occasional kicking of small animals. I don’t know. And I simply don’t have the energy to deal with the consequences. But I’m still a jerk, I just make things easier for me by making others happy. Let me explain.

I work in a restaurant, similar layout to a Panera Bread or a Cosi, except we serve organic pizza. We have trash receptacles and a place to put your pizza boards after you are finished your meal, and when the boards stack up, I go out to collect them and get them washed, as well as clean the tables, check on guests, you know, general restaurant stuff. Sometimes when I see people sitting and talking, obviously finished with their pizza, I’ll usually walk up to them and ask to take their boards to the trash for them. My request is usually met with surprise and gratitude, and I often get complimented and some people say, “Oh gosh, you didn’t have to do that, thank you!” Sometimes I get tipped. Am I making that extra push of good service because I’m just nice? I mean maybe, but the real reason is I would just rather not have to go back into the dining room at a later time when they finally decide to leave. I’m only making it easier for myself.

I remember back in middle and high school, I loved making note of as many people’s birthdays as I could. I enjoy baking, and so I would bring in something like cookies or some cupcakes to my classmates on their birthdays. Sweet of me, right?

Wrong. I remember one of my friends, Dwayne, being so excited and touched by my notion, and I felt compelled to break it to him.

Granted, I love my friends. But do you know what else I love? Baked sugary goodness. Why not kill two birds with one cupcake? Or how about twelve cupcakes? Three or so of which will go to the birthday gal/guy. Where do the rest go?

To MEEEEEEEEEEEE. All of it. All your cake…are belong to me.

Some people might not view me as being a jerk, but I think I’m a jerk sometimes for sure. Did I get you questioning your friends? Seriously, motive is everything. The most satisfying thing about being bad is getting away with it, right? So to all the jerkheads out there, you can make the world a better place without changing who you are. Seriously, try it sometime. You can have your cake and eat your friend’s too! Happy things!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I’m not one for making formal resolutions but I will be making some changes and improvements in my life. Here’s my list.

  1. Exercise and Eating Habits

This is nothing special, I know that’s practically everyone’s goal. I’ve been riding on my constantly growing height which allowed me to eat anything, and everything, all day, everyday, and not gain an ounce. Problem is, I’ve finally hit six feet and if I grow anymore I’ll cry. So I think, or at least I hope I’m done getting taller. I figure I ought to develop a better lifestyle before it gets really difficult when I get older. And by then, it’d probably be too late. More a matter of reversal than a matter of prevention, and that’s much harder. So yes, that. I will be eating better and implementing some exercise in my life.

2.   Stay in Touch

I love all of my friends and family. I’m sure they don’t always feel the love though, and I’m going to make more of an effort to get that message across from here on out. I live my life lost in thought most of the time, and I’m not very expressive emotionally. Growing up, I moved around quite often, and as a result, keeping in touch with loved ones isn’t second nature to me. On top of that, phones freak me out and I can’t stand calling people. I answer my cell with my work greeting by accident all of the time, because that’s the only time I’m ever on the phone. So yeah, that too. I will be sure to keep in contact with my family, because they are amazing, and my friends, because I’d be crazy without them.

3.   Improve my Skills

          Knitting and crocheting is kinda my thing. I learned when I was 7, I didn’t actually start making things until I was around 12. And then ’til high school my repertoire was exclusively composed of squares and rectangles. Oh, and trapezoids when my projects when terribly wrong. I have since added circles to my range of skills, and I make hats. With heavy assistance, I have made wool boots and a pair of socks. But it’s about time I expand again, so this year I’m going to learn how to knit cables and read patterns.

More skills to improve on would be my media skills. Considering the fact that I am studying Emergent Media in school and I aspire to be a content creator/social media consultant, I am taking it upon myself to learn as much as I can. It starts with WordPress! Next up will be Photoshop and Final Cut. I’ll more than likely post my creations up here as well, so give me feedback! And don’t be too mean, I am but a student!

4.   日本語 and Español

My language learning took a back seat this last semester in school. The class I need for Japanese isn’t available until the Spring, so I’ll be squeezing some time out of my days to practice. I’ve forgotten so much already, I’m afraid to see where I’d end up in the Spring if I didn’t review now. And I just want to learn Spanish, it’s getting to a point where it’s almost fundamental for any job. So yes, that. My Spanish speaking friends ought to beware, because I’m going to drive you loco asking you to teach me Spanish. Thanks in advance lovelies!

Those are my main goals for the year 2014. I hope everyone had a great time last night ringing in the new year. I worked downtown and saw the fireworks and danced with my coworkers all night. I was working, but it was a great time. So here’s to everyone making 2014 awesome. Happy things!