Keepin’ It Kosh

You know those friendships where you end up developing a new language between you and your friend? I have a couple of those. It gets hard to keep up on what is and isn’t a real word or phrase used by the general public after a while. Some terms I use so often, that I think they should just become a thing. It would make human interaction a whole lot easier,both for me and for the unfortunate strangers with whom I randomly spark conversation. And pretty much anyone who isn’t the best friend I make words with.


^^ A typical text from one of my friends…they love me though. Like, so much. ^^

One term I’m sick of people not knowing is KOSH. 

So before posting this, I asked my bestie what she wanted her name to be here on my blog. She will be known to you all as Agent M.

Minty Phresh

for minty phresh, obviously.

I don’t get it either guys. Somebody’s been watching Men in Black lately or something. But now that you’ve met…

Agent M and I love the song “Rock the Casbah” by The Clash. We quote it constantly. Why? I don’t know. It’s just a great flipping song.

So you know how the chorus says “Sharif doesn’t like it?” Yeah well towards the end they’re yelling random stuff during that part. And one of the guys shouts, “THINKS IT’S NOT KOSHER!” That would be our favorite part. And we declare things as being kosher and not kosher all the time. And we judge things by whether Sharif would like it or not. We’re not even Jewish. Well…I kinda am…maybe? I think so. Yeah, totally. Jewish people are awesome though, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if we borrowed their word. Right? It’s pretty much our fetch, except it will be a thing. One day.

We eventually shortened it to just ‘kosh.’ So you’ll see me refer to things as kosh in future writings. I thought I’d give you a heads up. Can we make that a new hashtag? Okay semi-new? I checked twitter. #keepinitkosh has been used twice ever. I’m taking it over. You heard it here first guys, #keepinitkosh: property of TheSpazmatazz and Agent M. Don’t you forget it.

Okay I’m done here. I’ve got some kosh to upkeep. Bye.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

I’ve never had a traditional Valentine’s day, but I usually enjoy wearing the bangin-est outfit I can put together, doing my hair and makeup, and strutting around town like I own the place all day. It never occured to me before moving back to Philly that Valentine’s day occurs during the winter season. Yeahh, my bangin-est clothes are quite California, so the snow has put a damper on those plans. I spend my winter looking like the Michelin man most of  the time. That is definitely not fabulous.

Anyways, sometime last night I thought to myself, Bruno Mars.

So I started listening to his music. I’ve never really been a fan, I only knew what I heard on the radio and television. And those songs annoyed me, because…emotions and feeeeeeeling. I just don’t understand such things. So Grenade, Marry You, Just the Way You Are, PASS

And I pretty much wrote him off as a sappy love song artist. Until last night…

I  really like him now. I never hated his sound, just the content of the popular songs. But then I heard Runaway Baby and it was so hilarious, I loved it. And Natalie. I couldn’t stop laughing. Bruno Mars is great, I am now a fan.

Maybe I have problems, but I seem to always revel in seeing the jerk in all of the singers that girls swoon over. I’m always late to the party. I avoid them during all their hype, but then curiosity gets the better of me, or someone I musically respect tells me to check them out. And then I hear the tracks that don’t make it as big. The songs where they are quite frank about being…pretty much no different than any other guy. Just your run of the mill player. It makes me like them more. Or like them at all. And they all do it.

Bruno Mars has Runaway Baby, among others, but that’s my favorite. Especially the fact that the song just before it is called Our First Time, and two tracks later comes Marry You. The progression is so random, it’s fantastic.

Everyone already knows that John Mayer is nowhere close to the guy singing those sweet lines, but his music screams douche too. Okay maybe not, this one is kind of a stretch but I’ve always understood Daughters a little differently. I take it as him basically saying, raise your daughters right, because they grow up and we guys have to deal with their crazy, and we’d rather not. So get that in check, parents. He might have another more blatant song, but I haven’t listened to his music in ages, and I didn’t do my research before writing this.

Enrique Iglesias just gets downright scary. Ever hear Heartbeat? EXERPT!

I don’t know where we’re going

I don’t know who we are

I can feel your heartbeat, she said to me

Sorry, but if I’m close enough to feel someone’s heartbeat, I would really like to know where I am and who they are. Maybe that’s just me. But this song reeks of roofies.

And Robin Thicke. I need not even explain. Love him though.

Well that concludes the train of VD thoughts I had today. Hope I didn’t ruin anyone’s music playlists. Have a great day couples and fellow single people! And to all the people I love, well…I love you. Kay, bye now.