$#*!@%&?#!

You know what’s the worst?

When denial stops working.

I have reached that point, and I must confess, to you and to myself.

I curse rather excessively.

A lot of you might know this already. And a lot of you might not. I challenge myself to keep such language out of my writing as much as possible. I consider the unnecessary use of curse words to be due in large part to a lack of a wider vocabulary with which to express one’s thoughts. It’s lazy and reminds me of how much I need to read more. Specifically books, and not my Twitter feed.

But let’s face it, cursing is also due in part to just being a fun thing to do. I greatly enjoy the perfect delivery of a good ol’ expletive in conversation. Sometimes it can be THE joke, and be the funniest one you’ve heard all day. Just play Cards Against Humanity, and see how the answer “Bitches” seems to never get old. A little sprinkling of some colorful language is a good time. You know, that’s exactly what they are!

Curse words are just like sprinkles.

sprinkles

Just like these.

I remember walking with my friend to the Dunkin’ Donuts that had just opened up down the road one day in high school. I wasn’t really in the mood for a donut, so I asked if I could just have some sprinkles. I received confused looks, but they did actually give me a bag full of sprinkles. Didn’t even charge me. And my friend and I walked home, as I ate sprinkles out of a bag with a spoon, feeling accomplished. But there’s this thing with sprinkles…

Sprinkles are great. You can dump them on all kinds of things. Anything! Cake, ice cream, cookies, brownies, people…apparently.

sprinkles on face sprinkles on nails

The possibilities are ENDLESS!

They’re colorful and bright. They add some texture. You can use sprinkles sparingly or completely envelope a pastry. They’re a cheap, simple way to jazz up anything you’re baking.

But have you ever eaten too many sprinkles? That bag of sprinkles I got from Dunkin? I never finished that. I don’t know if I even got halfway through the giant lob of sugar in my hand. It doesn’t take long for sprinkles to stop tasting sweet, and start getting weird and chalky in your mouth. Why do they DO that??? The why is not important. Anyways, you over-did it and your fun is over. Sprinkles just aren’t good in excess.

Just like curse words.

All of that to say, I’m getting that chalky taste in my mouth and it’s about time I wash it out and start speaking like I go to college. But then again I am what you would consider a drop out right now…

No. Enough of this. I need to learn some new words. Read some books. Find classier insults. Like this one..

quisquilian

Ah yeah, that is way more fun. Cursing is too basic. I’M ON SOME NEXT LEVEL— ish..

Okay it’ll be a process, granted. Give me some time.

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