This year was such a win, guys. I somehow managed to avoid Christmas music for the bulk of the month. That’s probably why I’m in higher spirits this month than I’ve been since childhood. If you haven’t kept up with the past two days, I’m a bit of a scrooge. And I only like a select few Christmas songs. The rest of them are way too happy and obnoxious and filled with bells and children and just…ugh they work my nerves.
I like the Christmas songs that are kind of reflective, calm, get to the point. Short and sweet, y’know. Just keep it simple. Stop yelling at me. It snows where you live, WE GET IT. Santa is a thing that totally exists, OKAY. And do we really care about all of his friends? Bye reindeer. Bye snowmen. Bye elves. Enough, alright? Must I be subjected to these tired subjects in the form of five minute stints of shrills and bells, over and over and over again? I will have none of it, thank you. None.
Here is a short list of what would be on my Christmas playlist, if I cared to make one:
1.) The Christmas Song
Sung only by Nat King Cole. I do not want to hear this song leave the lips of any other singer, I do not care. It should be a crime to even try. I love this song and it only makes sense to my soul via Nat’s voice only.
2.) Vince Guaraldi everything
Because the Peanuts are probably the only Christmas tradition I care about. And everything about A Charlie Brown Christmas is perfect. I lose my cool over “Christmas is Coming” and “Skating.” They art my favorites. And Christmastime is Here is that perfect solemn sound of quiet contentment that makes you want to stare at snow falling as you sit and contemplate your simple joys in life. Like finding money in the pocket of those pants you haven’t worn in a while. Or catching that piece of shrimp in your mouth when your hibachi chef tosses it at your table.
3.) Christmas Waltz
Not often played and lesser known, which is why I like it. I love this song. It’s like, hey, it’s Christmas and you’re listening to a bunch of songs saying the same thing. Well we’re no different, happy things! Kay, song over! It’s beautiful. I don’t really care who sings this, but every version that isn’t The Carpenters has a bunch of added pizzazz and I need that to not be a thing.
4.) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Because that’s all I really want to do.
5.) Christmas in Hollis – Run DMC
Because Christmas raps are the best and this is my number 1.
6.) Feliz Navidad
Probably the peppiest song on my list. It’s just necessary to me. I have no clue what I’m saying, and I’ve been told multiple times that it’s not Spanish. But whatever, that song brings me joy.
7.) Trans-Siberian Orchestra everything
I got to see them in concert when I was in middle school with my friend Sarah, and it was such an amazing show! I really want to see them again one year. But yeah, I love them. They are keepers.
8.) Wonderful Christmastime
Okay this is the peppiest song on my list. I just love this song. It’s kinda cheesy and trying too hard, and that makes it amazing. I have a soft spot for obnoxious 80s music, so yes, this one wins.
I was going to make this a nice list of 10. But nope. I couldn’t even make it to 10. Maybe I’ll think of a couple others. But then again, maybe not. Oh! I love the Hanukkah Song by Adam Sandler. But that’s not Christmas. Okay so nine. I got to nine. I’m actually surprised at myself. Well Merry Christmas everyone. Have a great time doing all the things I don’t like doing tomorrow with family and whatever! I have one more rant for ya, maybe. If I get to it.