Creeper Confessions

I’m just going to start this off by saying I realize this story is shameful, and I, in no way condone anyone else being as strange. Well, I don’t even know if it’s strange anymore. Social media has made a lot of alarming behavior seem socially acceptable. But not this, don’t be like me. Got it? Okay, on to the story.

At the restaurant I used to work in, I had some pretty interesting coworkers. They’re amazing and I love them, but all of us were pretty offbeat to say the least. The award for the craziest I would have to give to our hostess.

One day, this really cute guy came in to pick up a take-out order. Us, being girls, talked about how adorable he was after he left. Then our hostess said, “Yeah, too bad he paid with cash.”

“What do you mean,” I asked.

“Well if he paid with a card, I’d know his name.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Uhm, I could look him up on Facebook, duh! I do that all the time when a cute guy comes in and pays with a card.”

Yeah, that’s a thing. One of the dark secrets of the food industry. Possibly, or maybe I just know some really creepy people. Either way, it’s something to think about when you go out.

I told my friend she was crazy and so wrong for that. She didn’t care, she said she was even friends with a couple of the guys she looked up from take-outs. That girl is one of the wildest people I know, but she’s fabulous, so she kinda does what she wants. I felt that to be super intrusive, and I told myself I would not creep on customers.

That was a year ago. And a few months back this guy came in to my pizza shop to pick up a take-out order. I must confess, the idea crossed my mind. He was really attractive. I fought it though!


But it won. I agreed that if dude paid with a card that I would take note of his name and if I remembered later, I might look him up when I got home. I wasn’t going to write it down like my old coworker always did, that’s just wrong. I’d just make a mental note. Yeah, that’s less creepy.

I go get his order of four pizzas and bring them to the front. I tell him his total and OH JOY, he pulls out a credit card! Awww yeah, I was ready for those five second glance at his name when I run his card, I was going to remember it. I swipe the card and……


His wife? His girlfriend? His sister? Distant cousin, perhaps? Well, that is a lot of pies he’s picking up, maybe she’s the host of some party and he’s just picking them up? They can’t be married, or any kind of related, there’s no way his last name is Li.. Ohhhh WHY DO I FAIL SO HARD?

I gave him his card back along with his receipt, and I just walked to the back and laughed. I’m just not cut out to be a cyberstalker. I guess that’s a good thing.

That only came back to mind because that same guy came in again today…with his young daughter. I had never seen him since that one time, months ago. I didn’t even recognize him as the same person until I rang up his pizza and lo and behold, the card name read Christine Li. I couldn’t help but smile. Oh good, good, awkward times.

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