So I was talking about my Youth Cultures class a while back, if you remember. If you don’t, you should read about it here.
The semester is over, thank GOD. But I liked that class more than I thought I would. One of the last things we did in class was this weird group activity. We were to be social scientists for an hour, and we just came across a new, undiscovered subculture. The objective was to create this subculture among your group and then “present your findings” to the class. Well everyone, behold the Neverlanders, the subculture my group came up with.
Who remembers that Mosquito ringtone everyone used to use in high school? You know, that ultrasonic, annoying sound that most people over the age of 30 can’t hear, because science. Everyone in my school used it at a time, so we could get text notifications without our teachers being aware.
Okay, so imagine kids taking those ultrasonic sounds and making “music” with them, by alternating varied pulses of hertz levels. The followers of this new genre of music were my newfound youth subculture.
We decided that members of this group were obsessed with innocence and purity, and never wanted to grow up, hence their title as Neverlanders. Much like how in Peter Pan, a child could never return to Neverland after leaving, members of this group could only engage in the culture for as long as they could hear the “music.”
As a part of the assignment, we had to explain the rituals they did that gave them meaning and unity, how they related to greater society, if their activities caused any kind of societal panics, or problems in the community and what happened as members got older. If you thought things were already weird, just prepare yourself…
So since the Neverlanders are obsessed over purity, they wear nothing but white, they eat white foods with little to no modifications like seasonings. So…rice, cauliflower, milk, egg whites, things like that. And they often bleach their hair or shave it all off.
They hold concerts in big parks, or the middle of malls. It doesn’t really matter, because adults can’t hear anything. They’re just left very confused as they watch a large mass of teenagers dancing without music. This will cause panic, and news stories will report on this alarming phenomenon of children dancing for no reason in large groupings. Somehow, it’ll be discovered that this dancing to nothing inexplicably relates to a drastic increase in dog attacks and car accidents around the city. The Neverlanders will be under fire by the mainstream media and worried parents. More kids will suffer from malnutrition and get admitted into hospitals under critical care, refusing to eat anything other than vanilla pudding. The amount of depressed twenty and thirty somethings will go on the rise as they’re forced to face adulthood for failing to hear the high hertz level sounds anymore, and being completely rejected by the Neverlanders.
Yeahhhhh, I don’t know how we got through sharing all of our “findings” to the rest of my class. Because we were cracking up with every new thing we came up with. The Neverlanders were by far the most creative and strange out of what everyone came up with. Also, I keep saying ‘we,’ but my group was really quiet and apathetic towards class, so you can really replace all of those we’s with me’s, because this whole thing spawned from the twisted mind of yours truly. I was kind of watching Pootie Tang on television the night before, and got my inspiration from Pootie’s hit single…so, yeah. Sadatay homies!