The News is Stupid

I don’t watch much live television. And after hearing the ridiculousness that’s been on the news the past two days, I’m glad I don’t.

BREAKING NEWS PEOPLE: DOGS DON’T FEEL SHAME OR GUILT.

Uhm…so? Why is this news? It was stupid when I heard it yesterday, and it was still stupid hearing it YET AGAIN on the Today Show. Did I really have to hear this twice? I would be perfectly fine never knowing this completely useless information. I don’t understand why I’m expected to care.

They’re dogs!

Why do you want them to feel the same stressful emotions that we do? That’s kind of sadistic, humanity. Dogs are one of the only creatures on this earth that will love you when absolutely nobody else does. ISN’T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE???

They don’t care if you’re an all around crappy person, they’ll still stand by you. You can hit them with a pot and they’ll still try to make you happy. DON’T, BY THE WAY. Lest Sarah McLachlan haunt your dreams!

So dogs don’t feel shame or guilt. They still fear us enough to stop peeing on our floors when we yell at them. My point is they’re still trainable, so what’s everyone getting so worked up? We should be happy dogs don’t feel shame, because if they did, they probably wouldn’t love us anymore.

If you’re so worried about your pet’s emotional capacity, why don’t you do what I did? GET A CAT.

There’s no guesswork there. You know they don’t love you. Guilt? Shame? Shove it. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

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