Eggs Over Hard

If there’s one restaurant I absolutely cannot stand, it’s Cracker Barrel. If I never entered that blasted place again, it’d be too soon.

First is the name. Crackers? Don’t you want people to like you? Crackers are the most bland food stuff one can consume.  And you couldn’t think of a more appealing receptacle than a barrel? I’d like to hear from someone that ever thought of a barrel full of crackers and instantly thought of a good time or delicious food. I doubt I’ll ever find such an individual, and truth is, I’m not interested enough to look, they sound awful. 

Can someone please explain the knick-knacks? Just…stop it. It might be because I grew up in a home where “everything had a place and everything better be in its place” that the sale of items only meant to clutter a house seems pointless to me. It even makes me angry, because, why? So no thank you, I’ll pass on all the space waste, strange flavors of taffy and other weird candy that was discontinued decades ago.

The last straw was that one server who had the audacity to correct my English. After struggling through the menu of country meals that practically all were served with endless biscuits and a moat of gravy engulfing your plate, I settled for eggs with bacon and some other things…

Server: And how would you like your eggs cooked?

Me: Over hard, please.

Server: You mean over well?

Me: Umm…over HARD, thank you.

Server: Okay, I’ll get them for you OVER. WELL.

THE NERVE OF THIS WOMAN. I WANTED MY EGGS OVER HARD.

FUN FACT, there’s actually a difference, and that CRETIN messed up my order, being condesending. Seriously though, woman? You’re going to question ME on MY ENGLISH? I’m in school to be an English teacher! YOU WORK AT CRACKER BARREL, and the least you can do is get my order right.

Eggs over hard, the way I wanted mine prepared, have the yokes broken and fried so the white and yoke cook through evenly. Eggs over well still have the yoke in tact, and beyond that, the cooks didn’t even cook it well enough and it was runny. I loathe runny yoke. Loathe it. So I tell this woman the eggs weren’t cooked the way I wanted and she should tell the kitchen to cook them over hard this time. Still got them back over well. There is simply no winning in that place. 

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